PMS. Premenstrual Syndrome, Also Known In My House As Shark Week!
PMS Is Different For Everyone
When I was younger PMS didn’t much affect me. My period was just an annoyance for a few days. As I have gotten older PMS has become the norm and now instead of an annoyance it just pisses me off! LOL
What a lot of men don’t really understand about PMS is that we know we are acting bat-shit crazy but during PMS it’s really hard to control. It’s like we are possessed or have multiple personality disorder. We can only watch as our evil twin acts like a meth addicted monkey.
It starts out small. You’re just watching a movie you have seen a thousand times and all the sudden you’re crying. The movie doesn’t even have to be that sad. Someone in the movie loses their keys and BAM! You realize you’re crying for no reason and then you know, your evil twin will be arriving shortly so you better prepare everyone for the oncoming bitch storm.
Emotional Triggers To Be Aware Of
This post might help the men in your lives to avoid some of the bitch triggers. But lets be honest. Avoiding the triggers might trigger us so it’s pretty much hopeless.
- Breathing. Example: “Look at him sitting there breathing like that. He is the loudest breather ever. If I hold his head underwater long enough I bet it will stop.”
- Forgetting ANYTHING. Example: “What do you mean you forgot the peanut butter? Peanut butter was the only thing on the list I really wanted! Why do you hate me?”
- Being Late. Example: “Where were you? I was worried. I thought you were dead on the side of the road somewhere! Why didn’t you call me to tell me you would be late? Or were you with someone? Who were you with?!”
- Not Noticing Something. Example: “You’re Welcome! I vacuumed every room in this house and you didn’t even notice. I work so hard every day and you think I just sit here doing nothing! You don’t appreciate anything!”
- Any sort of look. Example: “What is that look for? You just looked at me like I’m some crazy person! I’m not crazy!”
- Looking at any other female. Example: “Who is that! Is that what you wish I looked like?”
- Keeping her awake. If you snore you are in serious danger of having a pillow held over your face.
- Not touching her enough. Example: “Honey will you give me a quick massage?” “Is that it? Not gonna do my shoulder or anything huh? Fine”
- Touching her too much. Example “Why do you always have to be RIGHT HERE. Stop putting your hands on me all the time. GOD!”
- Pretty much anything else.
Okay so obviously the above is a WORST CASE dramatization LOL. We are not psycho. But just to be safe, keep your head down and never look us directly in the eye. Also wine and ice cream can do wonders to calm the beast.